


Gift For the Fallen

by Sasusc



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Inter-House Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-25
Updated: 2015-01-25
Packaged: 2018-03-08 22:53:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3226505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sasusc/pseuds/Sasusc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Snape tries to convince Lily to save herself. Written for Interhouse Fest 2014 on LJ. Prompt: “Grace is a gift for the fallen, dear. You’re an angry blade and you’re brave but you’re all alone.” (Other comments: Snape was loyal to Lily even in death. What did it cost him?)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gift For the Fallen

**Author's Note:**

> This was actually the second story I wrote for this prompt. The first being a longer multi-chapter fic that has no hope of being completed in time, and thus I decided to go with a different flow. I really wanted to write a Snape/Hermione fic but instead this came out. There is a slight influence from another fic (can’t find it to point you all to it) I’ve read where Snape becomes Harry’s secret godfather which has become part of my headcannon.

He stood deep in the shadows for hours waiting for this opportunity. Plans were being finalized, and pretty soon they would go into action. He was doing as much as he could to protect her on his end, but he felt this warning would help her odds much better. He watched as Lily Evans stood in the doorway smiling and bouncing the baby on her hip as she said her goodbyes to her husband and his best friend. And just as fast as they appeared, they were gone and Lily was closing the door. He waited, pausing to gather his wits and to give the redhead witch some time to settle herself and the child.

He renewed the Disillusionment Charm on himself to insure no spies could see him. He wanted this visit to be kept a secret from his master. He could feel a handful of charms protecting the house as he walked up it. Those charms were hardly any sort of protection. They activated on intent, and one could easily slip past them if they could keep their intent to harm the occupants hidden. Very shoddy work if one was to ask him. He knew at least ten different charms he would have used instead.

She didn’t take long in answering his knock. The confusion written on her face when she opened the door reminded him that she couldn’t see him standing there. 

“Call for your cat and let me in,” he whispered.

She frowned. “Severus? Severus Snape?”

He nodded and placed his hand on her shoulder. “Yes. I need to speak to you and I must not be seen. Quickly!” he hissed. “Call the cat and let me before someone because suspicious as to what you are doing.” Snape watched as she bit her lip nervously. He squeezed her shoulder. “Please…if we were ever…friends…”

Lily opened the screen door wider and stepped onto the porch. She could feel Severus take a step back and maneuver around her into her home. She called for her cat for the benefit of anyone watching. She didn’t see anyone but she knew there must be an Order member or two around and possibly a Death Eater. She couldn’t help but shuddered at the thought. Death was edging ever closer to her home. She could almost taste it in the air. A strong wind blew her hair into her face and sent goose bumps racing up her arms. She turned back into the house, locking the door as she shut it.

Severus Snape stood tall and silent in the foyer. It was a sight she never imagined seeing. Darkness surrounded him. It always had, but it was never as tainted as it was now. She stepped forward, reaching out to him. The guarded look remained in his eyes. Once upon a time, Severus Snape dropped the walls around him and let her in. Not anymore and she doubted ever again. She had seen that look he gave her when she allowed James Potter to put a ring upon her finger. That was the last betrayal he would allow from her. It crushed her that she was the one that finished off their once great friendship. James never understood it, and he still couldn’t understand why she was so hurt over losing her friend. 

“Oh, Severus.”

He couldn’t take the pity he saw welling up in her eyes. He spun away from her only to come face to face with a picture of a happy family laughing and waving in its frame. In a fit of anger, he ripped it from the wall and smashed it on the floor. Glass shattered around them.

“Why him? Why couldn’t you ever see him for what he is?”

Lily was quick to withdraw her wand and repaired the picture. “Why are you here, Snape? Are you done questioning my life decision to marry James? If that’s the only reason why you’re here, than you can leave. I can still remember everything you said that night we graduated.”

He turned back to her, trying to tame the anger at seeing James Potter in the place that he had always thought would be his one day. Lily was beautiful standing before him. He had always stood in awe of her when she was angry. “I’m trying to protect you! You know He’s coming for you. You can still walk away from this. Save yourself.”

“I can’t. I can’t walk away because I know that what you are offering doesn’t include Harry and sure as hell doesn’t include James. I’m not leaving them. I’m not a coward. I’ve made my choices to stand up to You-Know-Who and now I have to live with that price. Evil never wins and one day we’ll live in peace. I want that for Harry. I can’t run away from that.”

“Please, Lily. I can protect you from Him. He wants your son dead. The proph--prophecy,” he stumbled over his guilt, “makes it impossible for me to offer him the same protection. Please.”

Lily bitterly laughed. “That stupid prophecy that doomed my Harry. It doesn’t matter, Severus. I have to stay here to protect him. He’s just a little boy…a baby. He’s harmless, defenseless. When have you become so heartless to let an innocent babe die? What happened to that little boy that taught me the wonders of magic? He was always moody and a little angry at the world around him, but he wouldn’t have harmed a child.”

“He died a long time ago. No one believed in him, no one saw anything worthwhile in him except for You-Know-Who. There was no one who ever truly loved him. Who did he have in this cruel world to keep him from falling? A drunken father and a mother to proud to ask for help when her abusive husband came after her and her son? Or the girl he loved that was quick to turn her back to him when he was too proud to accept her help?” He gave a harsh laugh. “He never belonged anywhere until the day he was accepted as a Death Eater.” She looked back at him stricken at the coldness in his words. He rolled up his sleeve and showed her the mark on his arm. “I have never once regretted that day I took His mark. I finally found where I belonged.”

Lily couldn’t stop her tears from flowing down her cheeks. She didn’t want to. Was this what he thought of himself? Of her? Did he really think he was unloved? Slightly blinded, she reached for the arm he held out. She bowed over it, letting her tears fall on the hideous mark that he thought showed him that he was loved. Could she have prevented this? She didn’t know, and she knew she would never know that answer. They both made their choices. 

“You’re not unloved. I have loved you since the day we might as children. You were once of my first friends, and you’re the oldest friend I have. Of course, I’ve been angry with you. Even hated you at times, but I’ve always loved you.”

He wanted to jerk his arm away from her. These were not the words he wanted to hear now. He was not that boy that had so desperately needed to hear those words. He was not going to allow it to hurt him now. “You don’t need to give me lies to make yourself feel better. I’ve buried that part of me the day you gave your vows to that piece of shit.”

Lily pulled his arm closer to her and cradled it to her chest. “Severus, I’m not lying.” She raised her eyes to meet his. “That day…that day you called me a ‘filthy little Mudblood’… I was hurt, angry, and sad. Mostly hurt. You weren’t the first, nor the last, to call me that, but to hear it from someone that I trusted and loved hurt a lot. I only ever wanted to help you and you pushed me away that day.” She laughed slowly as she stroked his arm. “Remus actually pointed it out to me a few years ago that you were in love with me at the time, and that your pride was hurt having me come in to rescue you. Any boy would have lashed out like that. I was a stupid girl back then not to have noticed. I kept hearing rumors of You-Know-Who and his followers. I was scared and trying to defend my right as a witch to belong to our world. Politics and rumors spread, and it was all I could do to fight against it. I’m still fighting. I wish…”

“Wishes can’t change the past nor where we are now. You were my only friend--my whole world!--and you turned from me.”

“Grace is a gift for the fallen, dear. You’re an angry blade and you’re brave but you’re all alone,” she whispered. It was a quote she recently read and it had struck a chord in her heart. Now she knew why. It reminded her of Severus Snape. “You’re not alone,” she repeated. “You’re not alone.” She placed a hand across his heart and pulled one of his hands to her own chest. She held it there. “You’re always in my heart.”

Severus’s knees hit the floor hard as he dropped down in front of her. “Please, Lily, please…” He wrapped his arms around her waist. “He’s coming for Harry. He’s making plans and he’s almost ready to act on them. He made me a promise that he will spare your life. I don’t know what I would do without you. You’re the only bit of light and goodness I’ve ever known. It’s my fault. All my fault. Lily, please! I’m sorry.”

“Severus,” she whispered. She stroked his hair as she felt his tears wet her shirt. “Oh, Severus. I can’t give Him my son. I will die for him. I will die to give him the best life anyone could ever wish for. It’s not your fault. It’s okay. I’ll tell James--Dumbledore. We’re run again. Tonight if we have to.”

He squeezed her tighter. “My fault. I overheard the prophecy and gave it to him. I didn’t know it was about you--about your son. It’s my fault you’re being haunted. It’s my fault that you’re going to die.”

Lily knew that he was truthful when he had said he didn’t regret joining Voldemort’s side, but that didn’t mean that he didn’t regret some of his actions. She hugged him closer to her. “I forgive you, Severus. It’s not your fault. He could have learned of it from someone else and we still would be here.”

They remained in that position for some time; him kneeling at her feet, and she holding him. Somewhere a clock chimed the hour and pulled Lily out of the moment. She pulled back from her friend and tilted his head to look up at her. She leaned down, kissed his forehead, and then leaned back slightly to stare into his eyes.

“Severus… Protect my son as best as you can. If I…don’t survive this, I’m begging you to keep him from harm. He’s part of me. I want him to grow up. I want to be by his side, but there’s a possibility that I might not be there. If…if you’re there on the day He comes for Harry, can you protect him? Take him away from here--away from Him?”

He didn’t want to tell her that it was impossible. His master was smart and cunning and he would get what he wanted…and he wanted Harry Potter dead. He wouldn’t even allow him to be at His side when He comes for the Potters. The risk was too high to bring him. He wasn’t trusted where Lily Evans was concerned. His Lord knew this as much as he did. 

He opened his mouth to tell her… Well, he wasn’t sure what he would have told her. A cry filled the silence for him. Lily gave him a watery smile and tugged on his hands to get him to his feet. He went willingly. 

“Come, my friend. It’s time to introduce my son to my oldest and dearest friend.” She felt him hesitate. She squeezed his hand. “Please, Severus. I’ve always wanted the two of you to meet. Do you know that you were my first choice of godfathers for my Harry?” She laughed airily. “Do you really see Sirius Black as a good godfather? He’s liable to lead Harry into trouble than get him out.”

Severus followed the witch into the living room where Harry was holding onto the side of a muggle playpen. He regarded the child and noticed that the boy resembled his father in coloring. Lily lifted the boy out of the pen and brought him to him. 

“Severus Snape meet Harry Potter. Harry, sweetie, this is Severus. I hope one day you two would come to care for each other.”

He highly doubted he could ever care for the offspring of James Potter. He would forever remind him of all the torment he had suffered at the hands of that bully. However, when the boy reached out to him, all Severus saw were Lily’s eyes shining up at him. He could never deny Lily anything. How was he to deny her son when he noticed Lily looking back at him?

“Hello, Harry.”


End file.
